"Sometimes I need that romance, sometimes I need that pole dance. Sometimes I need that stripper thats gon tell me that she dont dance." -Drake

Looking for a job is like already working full-time.

My increasing desperation is beginning to lower my job threshold. It is amusing that as months drift by, I find myself no longer turning my nose up at some job postings. My pickiness dwindles with every unemployed minute that passes. For example, I used to think that I would never be a stripper. But, I am beginning to come around to the idea.

For example, as a stripper, I would get to wear feathers and sequins without irony, and I would get to wear heels that would make me tall. Now that I really think about it, I would totally be a stripper if it wasn't for two itty-bitty problems:

1. My 'pole dance' abilities can be summed up in two words -- train wreck. My dancing would just make the customers sad, and it is probably safe to say that the lovely patrons are not there to contemplate their emotions.

Hawt.

2. I do not have full confidence in my ability to dry hump a stranger without giggling, and/or toppling over in my towering go-go heels.

Super Hawt.

I guess, the stripper life is not for me (insert heavy sigh here.) Therefore, I must hang-up my fictional feather boa, and contemplate another avenue for a job.

Besides, there is always Craigslist!